At the Beginning with You
by rachhudson
Summary: She hates how she's back at the beginning. She hates how it always seems to come down to her and Finn. He's the only one that makes her feel this way, and she's tried and tried but it's no use. He has her heart, and it seems he always will.


**Contains spec for 2x16.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nor am I affiliated with Glee or Anastasia. I just love both dearly. (:**

**

* * *

At the Beginning with You**

"_We were strangers,  
Starting out on a journey  
Never dreaming  
What we'd have to go through  
Now here we are,  
And I'm finally standing  
At the beginning with you."

* * *

_

i.

Rachel remembers the first time she ever saw _Anastasia_.

She's seven years old, she's sick, and her dads buy it for her to cheer her up. She absolutely loves it. She loves the story, the characters, but, most of all, the music.

"Daddy?" she asks quietly when he comes in to turn the movie off.

"Yes, princess?"

"Can I be just like Anastasia? She gets to wear pretty dresses and sing and go on adventures."

Her daddy smiles. "Of course, baby. You can be whoever you want to be."

Rachel smiles. "I'm going to find my own Dimitri someday, too," she tells him. "He'll be nice and sweet and we'll go on adventures together and sing."

Her daddy murmurs, "That's nice, baby," and leans down to put his hand against her forehead. "You've still got your fever, so why don't you sleep now, okay?"

Rachel nods, and her daddy leaves the room.

She knows she'll find her Dimitri someday, though. And he'll be perfect for her, just like Dimitri was perfect for Anya.

* * *

ii.

Rachel's first day of high school doesn't start off well, to say the least. She picks out her favorite pink penguin sweater that her grandmother knit especially for her first day, and she struts proudly into school, unaware that her day is about to be ruined. She doesn't even know what's happening until she's covered in purple slush.

She hears laughter as she blinks the substance out of her eyes.

"Nice sweater, _Berry_," Quinn Fabray hisses, flouncing by in a red and white cheerleading uniform.

A boy with a Mohawk is holding an empty Big Gulp cup, standing a few feet from her. "Did you see her face?" he asks the tall boy next to him, laughing.

The boy shrugs. "She looked surprised. You kinda ambushed her, Puck."

Rachel thinks he'd be really cute if he hadn't knowingly taken part in humiliating her. He has dark hair and brown eyes. He's probably about a foot taller than her. At least he has the decency to look uncomfortable.

"Why did you do that?" Rachel demands, addressing the boy with Mohawk – Puck, the tall boy called him. (Wait – like the fairy in _A Midsummer Night's Dream_?)

Puck shrugs. "You're a freak."

Rachel feels the tears sting her eyes, hears the taunting of almost everyone in the hallway, but she knows she _can't_ let them see her cry. She turns on her heel and races for the nearest bathroom.

Only when she's safely inside does she break down. High school was supposed to be great, not whatever this is.

* * *

iii.

Finn Hudson is perfect. He's cute and he's the quarterback, and he can _sing_, really sing. Rachel knows she's only known him, really known him – that boy from last year was _not _the real him, she's sure of it – for a day, but it _has _to be love.

She's positively giddy when she gets home that afternoon and she rushes over to her laptop. She knows she has to find the perfect song for her and Finn to sing at their wedding someday. She skims through her itunes and then she finds it – "At the Beginning."

She always has loved _Anastasia_. And this song represents all that they could be – all that they _will _be. Because when Rachel Berry wants something, she goes after it, and she gets it.

Finn Hudson, prepare to meet your true love.

* * *

iv.

Somehow, she still doesn't have Finn. He broke up with Quinn (very publically and very dramatically), and they talk all the time and he even came over to her house and cried into her sweater, and then she thought they were together, but they _so weren't_ and he left her high and dry.

She really can't take it. She can't.

She has on her ipod and she's crying. It just hurts so much. Her brain just keeps chanting, over and over, _hedoesn'tloveyou,hedoesn'tloveyou,hedoesn'tloveyou_. She cares about him so much, and it just stings that he doesn't even give a flying shit about her. He'd rather have dates with _Santana _and _Brittany_ because they're hot and everything she's not and it just _hurts_.

Then the song comes on. She reaches up to shut off the ipod, but her finger hovers, and she just lets it play.

"_Life is a road and I wanna keep going. / Love is a river I wanna keep flowing. / Life is a road, now and forever, / Wonderful journey."_

She wipes at her eyes and sits up. Obviously, Finn is just deranged, and obviously, he doesn't deserve her. She needs to let her life take the path it was meant to follow, and it obviously does not include Finn. (Sure, he's cute and adorable and _amazing_ but he's obviously not the one, okay? He told her that himself.) She remembers Mr. Schue's assignment for the week: Hello.

She reaches over to shut off the ipod. She needs to get to the music store, and fast. She has a song to find.

* * *

v.

She can't believe how lucky she is. She's found a boy who is perfect for her in every way, but there's a catch: He's in Vocal Adrenaline. And everyone wants her to break up with him.

It's like Romeo and Juliet, really. Every great couple in history has had to overcome roadblocks to be with each other, and this is no exception.

Rachel and Jesse are meant to be together. She'll make the sacrifice and date him in secret if that's what it takes.

Plus she just can't take the looks Finn keeps shooting in her direction, and she needs a distraction. She can't think about Finn anymore. He had his chance, and he threw it away. She shouldn't care.

She has Jesse and he's everything she's always wanted and that should be enough, right?

Then why does she feel like something's missing?

* * *

vi.

"Jesse?" she asks, reaching over to turn down his car stereo. "What's your favorite animated musical? I mean, we've talked about old Hollywood musicals, modern musicals, bad musicals, fantastic musicals, but never animated musicals."

Jesse laughs. "This is true," he admits, keeping his eyes on the road. "I'd have to say… probably _The Little Mermaid_. It's just so classic, y'know? And it's a great love story, about overcoming the odds. Kind of like you and me."

He smiles at her, and she smiles back, ignoring the thoughts that bubble in her mind, reminding herself that Jesse is everything she's always wanted.

"What's yours?" he asks.

She beams. "_Anastasia_."

Jesse laughs. "Are you _serious_? Out of all the classic animated musicals, you pick _Anastasia_?" He laughs even harder.

She tries not to feel so hurt that he's making fun of one of her favorite movies of all time. "Why not? It has self-discovery, true love, epic adventure, and wonderful music."

Jesse rolls his eyes. "And a talking _bat _as well a deranged psychopath with supposed magical _powers_."

Rachel's about to retort that _The Little Mermaid _has way more talking sea creatures for Barbra's sake – and isn't there a mentally unhinged sea witch also driven by revenge? – when Jesse continues.

"Anyway, let's not fight about this, okay? You have your severely inferior views, and I have mine, and let's leave it at that."

Rachel nods uneasily. But she can't help the sinking feeling she's experiencing in the pit of her stomach. She can't believe that the boy who is supposed to be so perfect for her – the boy who she's supposed to end up with – thinks that one of her favorite things is some sort of joke.

She pushes the thought aside. Opposites attract all the time, and this is just one bump in the road. (Plus, when she makes him listen to "At the Beginning," he'll have to change his mind. He'll _have_ to.)

* * *

vii.

Jesse St. James breaks her heart.

She knows she should have seen it coming. Everyone else did, but she was blinded. She wanted him to be real, to be true, so _badly_.

She wanted proof that she could be over Finn. So, yes, she's heartbroken over Jesse, but she's also wondering what this means in regards to Finn as well.

She still wants him, and he sang to her in glee club and kept fighting for her but she just doesn't know. What happens if he has her? Will he drop her for the next cheerleader that shows him some attention?

She hates how she's back at the beginning. She hates how it always seems to come down to her and Finn.

He's the only one that makes her feel this way, and she's tried and tried but it's no use. He has her heart, and it seems he always will.

* * *

viii.

She kisses Finn on the stairway. She can't _not_. His words are too perfect, he's too perfect, and she's sick of pretending that she doesn't want to be with him.

She smiles at him, and he smiles back.

"We should get to glee," he whispers.

She nods. "I know just what we should do for Regionals."

He takes her hand and says, "Cool," and she tries not to smile too widely as they walk down the hallway.

She lets go of his hand right before they get to the glee classroom, and she says, "Mr. Schuester, Finn and I have something we want to say to you," fully intending on telling Mr. Schue her brilliant plan of how she and Finn will perform "At the Beginning" at Regionals (because, come on, it's _perfect_) when he tells them to take seats.

Rachel really just wants to share her idea, but she complies. Mr. Schue starts talking about he's not going to give up on them, and then he tells them they're doing a Journey medley for Regionals. She glances over at Finn and he's smiling so wide, so she smiles, too. This is what they should be doing: "At the Beginning" represents the journey of her and Finn, but a Journey medley represents the journey of the entire club. It's not all about her, and it's really better this way. She's glad.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schue says, interrupting her thoughts. "Was there something you wanted to say?"

She feels the tears welling up in her eyes because it's going to be so _perfect_, but she just says, "We're just all _really_ glad that you didn't become an accountant."

She laughs and wipes at her eyes, and Finn reaches over to take her hand. She smiles at him.

She doesn't care what song she sings, as long as he's the one singing with her.

* * *

ix.

She convinces him to watch _Anastasia _with her in her basement on a rainy Tuesday afternoon in July after he says he's never seen it.

She doesn't even watch the movie, really – she watches him, gauging his reaction, because she knows it's silly, but it's one of her favorite movies, and she just wants him to like it. She knows he won't bash it, like Jesse did, but she still wants him to genuinely think it's good.

After the movie's over, she hesitates, then asks, "So… what did you think?"

He smiles at her. "It was good, Rach."

"Really?" she asks. "Was it too juvenile or anything?"

He laughs. "No, I liked it. Like, really."

"Did you like the music?" she presses. "I think it's very timeless for a movie that's not quite as old."

He nods. "Yeah, totally. We could even like propose to Mr. Schue that we do some songs from it or something."

She kisses him then, mashing her mouth against his, because he's truly the best person for her. He didn't fall asleep and he liked the songs and she just loves him so _much_. She tries to convey all of her feelings and love into the kiss, and he smiles, so she thinks he might get it.

"I love you," she whispers as they break apart.

"I love you, too," he replies, kissing her again sweetly.

She grins, bringing his face down to meet hers.

* * *

x.

She immediately regrets making out with Puck. The second he leaves, she buries her face in her hands and just sobs. Puck's not Finn. He'll never _be _Finn. And she and Finn may be fighting right now, but that doesn't mean that she loves him any less.

He breaks up with her, and it's not exactly unexpected, but it still _hurts_. She tries calling him, but he doesn't pick up. He doesn't answer her texts. And he signs off of AIM whenever she gets on.

She misses him, but when he asks her to give him space, she does. She knows it's all her fault. So she lets him go, because he deserves better.

She feels empty, like part of her is missing. Like without him, things just aren't the same.

(They aren't. And they won't be.)

* * *

xi.

She and Finn have been apart for three months when she decides it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that they aren't together right now, and it doesn't matter that he's with Quinn.

They'll find a way back to each other. All the best couples do.

Just look at every Meg Ryan movie – _When Harry Met Sally, Kate and Leopold, _and, of course, _Anastasia._

Dimitri leaves because he wants Anastasia to have the life she's always dreamed of and he's afraid he'll just hold her back, but then he can't get on that train and he comes back to save her in the end.

Finn said he still believes in her. He's still one of her best friends. And, soon enough, he'll come back for her. He _has _to. All the signs say he will.

It's just a matter of time, really. So all she has to do is keep focusing on the music and the songs she's writing and Finn will come back soon enough.

She smiles to herself. It's good to be back, and it's good to know that things are going her way.

* * *

xii.

She isn't counting on the Quinn factor. This is a mistake. She should've known that Quinn wouldn't give up without a fight.

She's practicing her solo for Regionals in the auditorium when Quinn finds her. "Rachel? Can I talk to you for a second?"

Rachel honestly doesn't know what she could want. She hasn't been seducing Finn, hasn't even _spoken _to Quinn since their last Celibacy Club meeting. "Sure," she answers.

Quinn licks her lips. "I just came here to tell you to not bother."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asks, perplexed.

"I know you're writing an original song for Regionals, and I just wanted to let you know that Finn's mine now. So no song that you write about how much better you are for him or whatever will win him back."

Rachel can't believe this. She's writing for _herself_, not for Finn, and this isn't even about her and Finn and Quinn and this stupid triangle that won't seem to go away – it's about winning. It's about being good enough.

Finally, she finds her voice. "Obviously you don't believe that, if you're here," Rachel points out. "If you were confident in your relationship with Finn, it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't be telling me this right now."

Quinn sighs. "I didn't want to have to do this, Rachel, but…" She takes a step closer. "You know how this will end, don't you? I'll end up with Finn, and you'll end up heartbroken. This isn't _She's All That _ or some movie where the freak gets the guy, okay? Finn and I are _supposed to be together_."

Tears well up in Rachel's eyes, but she refuses to back down. Quinn Fabray will _not _have the final say, not this time.

"You think I don't know what you're doing?" Rachel asks. "Finn may be oblivious, but I'm not. You're just _using _him, Quinn. Don't act like it's not true. Finn doesn't love you, but you don't love him, either. You want to be back on top, and you figure Finn will be the best way to get there. He's not just some _prize_, alright? He has feelings and he's wonderful and you _don't _deserve him."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "What? And you do?" she asks.

Rachel shakes her head. "No," she admits. "But I'm not giving up on Finn. It's not over between us. You may have him right now, but there will _always _be something between us, and I think you know that. I think it _scares _you. You may have him right now, and it may hurt to see you together, but I just have to cling on to the hope that someday, he'll realize that, _yes_, I made a mistake, and _yes _I regret it all the time. So you can threaten me and tear me down, but in the end, it doesn't even come down to me and you. It comes down to Finn. And if he wants to be with you, then he wants to be with you."

She takes a deep breath, and a tear slips down her cheek. "I'm not writing this for Finn, contrary to what you believe. It deals with Finn, it's about Finn, but it's for me. I… I need to stop screwing everything up. And I just…" She wipes at her ears, but the tears are still coming. "I just need everyone to see how _sorry _I am. _Especially_ Finn."

Quinn looks uncomfortable as Rachel cries even harder.

"I –"

"Save it, Quinn," Rachel manages to say. "It doesn't matter anyway."

She runs down the stage steps and out the door, her vision blurring. She collapses outside the auditorium in the hallway, sobbing into her hands.

She just wants everything to be okay. She just wants to _know _that things are going to be okay.

* * *

xiii.

They win Regionals. The actually _win_. Before Rachel knows what's happening, Finn's grabbing her and squeezing her to his side. She beams up at him.

"It was all you, Rach," Finn tells her. "Your songs were _fantastic_."

Rachel blushes, then she sees Quinn out of the corner of her eye. She steps back from Finn. She knows they're still together.

"Thanks," she tells him. She smiles slightly. "You were great, too."

"About your song –"

Rachel shakes her head. "We'll talk later, okay? We won, and that's all that matters."

Finn nods. "Okay. But… promise me we _will _talk?"

Rachel smiles. "Of course."

She goes to find Kurt then (because the Warblers really _were_ phenomenal), and she feels a little lighter.

She can see Nationals and she can see the music and she can see her and Finn, singing, and it's beautiful. She can't wait.

* * *

xiv.

He comes up to her that Monday after school, hands in his pockets and his face unreadable.

"Can we go somewhere?" he asks. "I just… I feel like we need to talk."

She nods, and her heart is thumping so hard in her chest, she can barely hear him. The blood pounds against her ears.

She follows him into the choir room.

They stand in silence for a few minutes, then Finn finally asks, "Did you mean all that stuff? In your song?"

"Yeah, of course," Rachel says. How could he not know that? "I… I'm trying so _hard _to just get things right now, you know? And not… not just for me. I've hurt _so _many people." She meets his eyes. "Especially you. And I know we can't go back, but I just want you to know how sorry I am for how selfish and stupid I was. I want to be able to fix what I broke."

Finn nods. "Yeah, totally. But… you weren't the only one who made mistakes. Who… who needed to fix things."

She raises her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

He shrugs. "I messed up, too, Rach. You weren't perfect, but I wasn't either. And I want…" He swallows, and her breath catches in her throat. "I want to be with you again. Because Quinn's great and all, and she's like, nice to me now and stuff, but… She's no you."

Rachel could start crying, she really could, but somehow she keeps her composure. "But what about being prom king?" she asks.

He laughs. "I honestly don't give a shit. That's Quinn's thing, not mine. And… and what fun is prom if you're not with the person you really wanna be with?" He looks at her, the corner of his mouth twitching with a smile, and she launches herself at him.

"Whoa!" he exclaims, but he's laughing and he squeezes her tightly. "Did you miss me?"

She looks up at him, biting her lip. "More than anything."

He stares at her for a second, and then he kisses her, soft and gentle, and suddenly she's back at the beginning, on that day in the auditorium with the picnic and the cosmos.

As they pull away, she asks, "How would you feel about discussing songs for Nationals?"

"Can we do that later?" he asks. "Because I _kinda _just wanna kiss you right now."

She giggles as she pulls his face down to hers. Talking can wait. They've got all the time in the world.

* * *

xv.

They're both lying on her bed, legs intertwined, sharing the earbuds to her ipod, which lies on her stomach.

Rachel glances over at Finn. He's staring at the ceiling, a slight smile on his face.

"What do you think?" she asks.

He looks at her, grinning. "It's us," he admits. "It's like the song was _written _for _us_."

She grins. "I know. And I really want to sing at Nationals. I mean, if Mr. Schue will let us."

Finn nods. "I mean, 'Faithfully' went over well. And that was us, too. But this song… it's _so _us. We'll do it, Rach. I mean, not just us, the entire club can back us up…"

"It'll just make Nationals that much more special," Rachel says quietly.

Finn smiles, interlacing his fingers with hers. "Exactly. It represents our entire journey, as a club and everything. I think the audience would really be able to, like, see that."

Rachel smiles, leaning over to kiss him. "I love you," she whispers. Her words are a promise, a promise that nothing will ever tear them apart again, that no matter what happens at Nationals, they'll have each other.

He cups her cheek, smoothing his thumb over her skin. "I love you, too." She has a feeling that his words are a promise as well.

* * *

xvi.

"I'm nervous," she whispers as they take their places behind the curtain.

"You'll be great," Finn promises, reaching over to squeeze her hand. There's a beat, then he adds, "Break a leg, right?"

She grins. "I love you."

The music starts, and Rachel steps out from behind the curtain. She takes a deep breath, and then she just melts into the song.

"_We were strangers, starting out on a journey. / Never dreaming what we've have to go through / Now here we are, and I'm finally standing / At the beginning with you."_

Finn emerges from behind the curtain as well. He smiles at her. She hopes the spotlight can't pick up her blush.

"_Never knowing I was going to find you / Unexpected, what you did to my heart / When I lost hope, you were there to remind me / This is the start."_

As she joins him in singing, Rachel feels her heart swell with pure love and joy and it doesn't even matter whether they win or lose. It doesn't matter that Jesse's sitting in the front row and that she and Quinn still aren't the best of friends.

All that matters is that she has Finn and he has her and that's all she needs. It's more than enough.

"_Life is a road and I wanna keep going / Love is a river I wanna keep flowing / Lifeis a road, now and forever / Wonderful journey / I'll be there when the world stops turning / I'll be there when the storm is through / In the end I wanna be standing / At the beginning with you."_

The curtain rises and the rest of the club fills in the spaces around them. Rachel looks around as she sings and she sees all her friends, her second family. She loves them all.

Finn takes her hand and spins her around. She can see her future, and no matter how things end today, it's going to be bright, as long as she has Finn. And she plans on keeping him for the rest of forever.

* * *

"_We were strangers  
On a crazy adventure  
Never dreaming  
How our dreams would come true  
Now here we stand  
Unafraid of the future  
At the beginning with you."

* * *

  
_**I hope that wasn't overkill, haha. Thanks so much for reading, and please let me know what you thought in a review! :D**


End file.
